- A NEWLY MARRIED COUPLE went on a cruise for their honeymoon. When they returned, the bride phoned her mother. "How was the honeymoon?" asked the mother. "We had a terrific time, but as soon as we returned, Sam began using horrible four-letter words. I can't live like this. Please come and take me home," the bride pleaded, bursting into tears. "But, honey," the mother asked, " what four-letter words?" "Oh, they're too awful to repeat,"cried the daughter. "But I want to know what's upset you so. Tell me what Sam's been saying." Terrible words like dust, wash, iron and cook!" sobbed the daughter.
-UMAR KHATAB
- I WENT to really tough secondary school. In English class my teacher told us to make an outline, and someone asked,"Where's the body?"
-JAY TRACHMAN
- A MAN GOES to an ice-cream parlour and asks for a large tub of chocolate ice cream. "I's sorry, sir," the shop assitant replies. "We're out of chocolate." "All right," says the man. "I'll have a small tub of chocolate." "Sir," says the shop assitant, "we have vanilla, strawberry - but no chocolate!" "Well, I'll just have a chocolate cone," the man replies. "Pay attention, mister," says the shop assitant. "Can you spell van i vanilla?" "Of course," he says. "V-A-N." "And how about the straw in strawberry?" "Certainly," the man replies. "S-T-R-A-W." "And how about the cottonpick in chocolate?" "There's no cottonpick in chocolate," the man says. "Exactly!"
-ROY DIESNER
-taken from Reader's Digest
- A NEWLY MARRIED COUPLE went on a cruise for their honeymoon. When they returned, the bride phoned her mother. "How was the honeymoon?" asked the mother. "We had a terrific time, but as soon as we returned, Sam began using horrible four-letter words. I can't live like this. Please come and take me home," the bride pleaded, bursting into tears. "But, honey," the mother asked, " what four-letter words?" "Oh, they're too awful to repeat,"cried the daughter. "But I want to know what's upset you so. Tell me what Sam's been saying." Terrible words like dust, wash, iron and cook!" sobbed the daughter.
-UMAR KHATAB
- I WENT to really tough secondary school. In English class my teacher told us to make an outline, and someone asked,"Where's the body?"
-JAY TRACHMAN
- A MAN GOES to an ice-cream parlour and asks for a large tub of chocolate ice cream. "I's sorry, sir," the shop assitant replies. "We're out of chocolate." "All right," says the man. "I'll have a small tub of chocolate." "Sir," says the shop assitant, "we have vanilla, strawberry - but no chocolate!" "Well, I'll just have a chocolate cone," the man replies. "Pay attention, mister," says the shop assitant. "Can you spell van i vanilla?" "Of course," he says. "V-A-N." "And how about the straw in strawberry?" "Certainly," the man replies. "S-T-R-A-W." "And how about the cottonpick in chocolate?" "There's no cottonpick in chocolate," the man says. "Exactly!"
-ROY DIESNER
-taken from Reader's Digest
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